God of restoration and grace

Tonight we went to the red light district

You disgust me
at first
because I see you as old
and wrinkly
paying for a night of pleasure
with a young and poor
girl in the red light district

Then it hit me:
your wife may have left you
may have been unfaithful
you may never have had a father
to tell you a woman´s worth
you may have been shamed
by all of your friends
and in your own mind
it´s payback time
cuz you were never told
It´s all been paid for already

I see you
And I am still disgusted
but no longer disgusted by you.
I am disgusted by the father of lies
who twisted everything around
so that you think pleasure is
found in a young girl
who was forced into prostitution
I am disgusted
in the father of lies
who had you think
you can be healed
by feeling the touch of someone
younger and prettier
than the wife who betrayed you

Could it be...that we all need healing
and that we all need
someone heaven-sent tonight?

-Synnove Kapelrud


This poem is by Synnove (my outreach leader and small group leader from lecture phase of DTS). This reflects her heart after we went to the red light district in Chiang Mai, found around Tha Phae gate, on Monday night. 

I went to Tha Phate gate the night before with a little more than half of the team. This experience was nothing I had ever faced before. I knew that prostitution went on in Thailand right out in the open. I knew that God had even given me heart for it, but I wasn't aware of how it would affect me when I saw it. Sunday night was so difficult. I had every emotion, thought, and idea racing through my mind. At the very beginning of the night God reminded me that the men are broken too. As much as I want to seek out justice for these broken women, the men are broken too. I am not excusing this one bit and it's even hard for me to admit it...but they are broken in a different way. Jenifer and I walked together with Saul and Will close to us, but I kept talking with her expressing my thoughts and feelings. I kept expressing all these thoughts to God as well. It was sooo difficult.

Monday morning we had an amazing family time with the team. We expressed how things were going for us on outreach. We thought that God could be doing more with us. We had intercession, asking God what we should do for the day because we had nothing planned. During this time God broke me. I was hurting for these girls so badly. I was crying out for them. It broke my heart thinking that I didn't do anything to get me where I am. I didn't pick the family or country I was born into. God has blessed me so much it's unreal. God gave me amazing parents who fought for me and will still fight for me to this day...my question is who in the world is fighting for these girls? I'm not saying that everyone needs to be called to minister to these daughters of God, but I am saying let's get off our butts! Let's do something to change this world. It is not unrealistic to think we can't. If we believe this...we are believing a lie from the enemy. We are here as Christians to fight for people's souls who are not going to heaven. I am not going to sit back and let this happen. After intercession we felt like God wanted us to go back to Tha Phae gate with everyone from our team. I was ready to rip walls down through intercessory prayer with God. I was pumped to fight the enemy in 'his' territory. I am soooo done with the enemy thinking he has control of Thailand, these girls, these white middle aged men coming to visit these women...I am done. Our entire team went back and we actually walked through the red light district of this area. It literally makes me sick to see this stuff. Satan is happy with what's going on here and THAT IS NOT OKAY. Whether this means that I may be called to some kind of ministry like this... I don't know. All I know is that God has instilled this passion in me and if it's solemnly for the point of praying for these girls and men then I'm okay with that. But, please join in God in something. We are not called to sit on our butts and pray only for ourselves to be healthy and comfortable. Jesus wasn't comfortable throughout His life...I don't want to be comfortable you shouldn't want to be comfortable...we aren't called to be comfortable!!!


Jesus let's do work!