gleanings.

yo peeps.

i am off to gleanings, ca for a week with half of the people from my dts. the other half are headed off to san francisco. we'll be serving in many different ways so if you could be praying for us that'd be awesome. we'll be back on base friday. can't wait to get off the base for a while. prayers are appreciated. :)

hey guys, God speaks.

On Wednesdays from 9-10:30am we have small groups, and without any bias mine is the best. =P But, in all sincerity my group is amazing. Our small group leader is absolutely beautiful; her name is Synnove and she’s from Norway. Including me there are 7 girls in the small group. The girls are: Amanda from Canada, Emma from England, Megan and Brittany from New Jersey, Noemie from the French part of Switzerland, and Laura who is from Pennsylvania. When we are together we have an absolutely amazing time. There are many times where we meet outside of small group simply because God has blessed our small group and we have joy in that blessing.

This past Wednesday we had an ‘assignment’ for small group. We each had someone else in the small group that we were to be praying for. We were asking God for a word or phrase that He wanted us to give this certain individual. For this assignment I had Synnove, and God gave me the word ‘fire’ to relay to her. I really didn’t understand why he gave me that word, so I continued to press in asking Him why He presented me with this word. He showed me this picture of people trying to put out a forest fire that was quickly spreading. Long story short the fire represented Synnove. After I told her this she went on to explain how in the last couple months or so that ‘fire’ keeps on coming up. She had a vision of herself bending over a field that was completely dead with a torch. A song that she has continually been listening to deals with being on fire, and so on. Super cool how God uses us to speak to one another.

Emma and I at Starbucks

So, my fantastic British friend, Emma, had me for this small group ‘assignment.’ Let me give you a little info on this lovely lady. She is 18 years old and makes it known that I’m so much older than her. Her birthday is the day after mine so she makes it a point to say that I am 6 years older than her. BUT, this is only kind of true for like 10 hours. I am really only 5 years and 10 hours older than her…not 6 years. As you can tell she likes to pick on me, but it’s all dandy because we pick on each other. PS. Did I mention that I love, love, love her. We didn’t talk the first week, but you can find us hanging around each other pretty often now. She is on my outreach team to Thailand as well. Boy, I am pizzzzummmped. Here are some things she enjoys: picking on me (as I stated before), blaming me for injuries to her body that I had nothing to do with, make fun of Americans, wash dishes after dinner, borrow my blue zip up, etc. This girl is crazy cool.

me on top of Bunsen

Okay now hold on tight ladies and gentlemen because what she had for me is super crazy awesomeness straight from Jesus. So God laid a couple verses on Emma’s heart for me and then gave her a vision of me along with the verses. The verses are from the beginning of Romans 5. It says, “[1] Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. [2] Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. [3] More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, [4] and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, [5] and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (ESV).  Then she had this vision of me climbing a mountain, by myself. She said when I was on this path I was kind of rushing up to get to the top and I wasn’t looking at the beautiful view that was surrounding me. Then as I continued to climb the mountain and came to the top Jesus was standing on top of the mountain. She used the word ‘glory’ to describe what He looked like. Then she said after seeing Jesus a man stepped out behind Him. She said that she had the sense that I needed to continue trusting in God’s glory, focusing on what He has laid right in front of me right now, and chase after glorifying Him and that eventually He will provide me with the desires of my heart. Not only is this awesome in itself, but the awesome part about this entire thing is that this summer when I was in Yellowstone National Park I was climbing a mountain and my aunt Debby asked me to take up the back of the pack when we were hiking Bunsen. When I got to the top of the mountain God convicted me of my attitude and selfish desires. I was trying to race up the mountain instead of being in the moment God gave me. Long story short, a couple of weeks later we were climbing Avalanche Peak and I was at the back of the pack again. This time it wasn’t by choice or service, I was sick and was having a difficult time climbing the strenuous path. I was with 5 other girls and 2/3^rd of the way up the mountain we stopped and rested. During that time I pulled out my Bible passed it to a friend and asked her to read Romans 5:1-5. I’m in a hurry so this story is not in as much detail as I would like. But, the point I am making is that God communicates. He is talking to us all the time, even when we don’t think He is, HE IS. Most of the time we aren’t aware of how He is communicating with us. It’s so amazing how the talks to us, but not only does he talk to us…He CONFIRMS what He is saying to us. He did just that with what He gave Emma to tell me. God wants to talk to you. Believe that. I am learning more and more of what that actually means. So exciting!! God is personal God!

me on top of Avalanche

the three day penny challenge

This week’s speaker is Kristy Wilke and she is awesome. She brings such a spice to the way she teaches and it draws me in. She is on fire for Jesus and makes it known. She is teaching on “Hearing God and Intercession.” Her teaching has honestly been life changing. When I have more time I’ll put up the notes I have taken during her teaching, but for right now I want to share with you what her teaching has been doing for me personally.

On Tuesday Kristy gave everyone a penny. The purpose of this penny is to challenge us in our walk with Jesus. Literally, it’s there challenging us while we are walking. She challenged us to put this penny in our shoe for 3 days. The sole purpose of this penny is to remind us to ask God what he would have for us at that exact moment in time. The first couple times I felt the penny I was completely confused, forgetting that I had even put the penny in there. But for me, this is how my Christian walk is. It is a learning process. When I began walking with Jesus I didn’t remember a lot of times to spend adequate time building my relationship with Him. Throughout the day the amount of time it took for me to realize what was in my shoe and then actually turning to Jesus decreased because my awareness had been stretched. Likewise in my walk with Jesus over the years when I am facing a hardship, carrying a burden, troubled, impatient, irritable, joyful, exhausted, grateful, forgiving, etc. I have found that the amount of time it takes me to turn to Jesus has decreased. It isn’t that I’m even close to being perfect, but the more I look to my relationship with Him the more he blesses me. It is crazy to me that He blesses me simply because I find myself being in His presence and He loves that I am soaking in His presence. How and why in the world does he love me (us) this much? All I know is that because of this love He has for me, I fall more and more in love with Him. This penny challenge has been absolutely amazing. I am anticipating what God is going to do in these next two days. Hopefully He’ll continue to bless me and draw me closer to Him each step throughout my day.

this is the beautiful view i am talking about :)

One song that has been speaking to me, specifically today, is You Won’t Relent by Jesus Culture. One of my favorite lines from this song Kim Walker sings and it says, “I don’t want to talk about you like you’re not in the room. Wanna look right at you, wanna sing right to you.” This fits absolutely perfect into the teaching this week. These words Kim sings go straight to my heart. Can you imagine what it would look like to walk throughout the day holding Jesus’ hand instead of simply talking about or to Him like he isn’t there the whole time? Seriously, imagine it. I can imagine myself getting cranky in the morning and then Jesus being like, “Come on Sarah, I know you’re tired, but I love them and I know you love them, let’s show them that we love them together.” I can imagine walking from breakfast, still holding Jesus’ hand, and looking at the mountains and sun rising behind them, and then I can hear Jesus saying, “Sarah, I made this. I made this for you. Isn’t this beautiful? I want you to look at them and be reminded of how beautiful I have made you.” I can imagine going to base worship, small group, base intercession, DTS worship, etc. holding Jesus hand. I can imagine how he would meet me in each of those times. I can imagine sitting next to Jesus in class asking me to challenge the idea I have of Him. I can see Jesus saying, “Sarah, I am speaking directly to you right now through Kristy. Please listen because I know you’re struggling with this.” And this is only my day starting at 7 am and going until 12:30 pm. Honestly, what would our lives look like if we let Jesus really, really, REALLY speak to us throughout the ENTIRE day, not only in our blocked out quiet times (if we even do those)? What would our lives look like if we didn’t listen to lies we feed ourselves, we let others or the devil feed us? Instead of believing the lie that we’re ugly when we leave the house, why don’t we leave the house in the morning holding Jesus’ hand, believing what he has to say about us (that we are unique, beautiful, and wonderfully made)? Instead of feeling inadequate throughout the day, why don’t I ask Jesus how he feels for me at that moment? What a life changing discipline this would be if we were to take our relationship with Jesus serious at every moment of every day. Can you imagine what the church, Jesus’ bride, would look like? I seriously believe that the name ‘Christianity’ would not have as bad as a reputation that it already has. Can you imagine?!?!??!?!?!?? I already see what it’s doing in my life. Pleaseeee…I challenge yourself to put a penny in your shoe for 3 days. Every time you feel that penny ask God what he would have for you at this moment? Would he have you love on your co-worker? Would He ask you to go up to your boss and ask how you could be praying for them? Would he have you put down the remote and serve your community? Would he have you ask for forgiveness from someone? What does he have for you? It’s something. It’s unique. Put yourself at the foot of the cross and get involved. There is only one you. Let Him use you. It’s such a blessing. Ahhhhhhhh. I’m so pumped!! Thank you Jesus.

meet duh A team

It’s crazy to think I have been here a month already. It doesn’t seem like we have been here that long, but at the same time I think back to how much has gone on. 

This weekend was pretty much filled up. Friday we had our tracks. I don’t remember if I explained what this is so I’ll quickly give you an idea. We have four different tracks that we could have been in: create, social justice, media, or skate. I am in skate track. In this track every Friday we go to the skate park in Sunland. It’s more than just a skate park. There are tennis courts, a basketball court, playgrounds, etc.

We were at the skate park from 3 until about 7. We always have a  cook out and feed anyone and everyone there. Usually it consists of homeless, skater/bikers, and random people in the park. It’s always a fantastic time and an awesome opportunity to show people love simply by serving them.

Saturday I went to a boot camp that they do here in LA for ‘at risk’ or ‘trouble-kids.’ It’s this program that they run for children that are misbehaving at home, in school, in the community, etc. Most of their parents bring them to this boot camp, but some are court ordered. There are boys and girls, but most of them are boys. Their age range is from 7-17, but mainly in between 9 and 14.  A bunch of these kids are in to really bad stuff and are basically running the household at home. While we are there we have the chance to mentor/tutor the kids. I was with two boys named Jaime (pronounced ha-may) and Rodrigo. I seriously wanted to take Jaime home with me. He is super smart, hilarious, and athletic but is there because he talks back to his mom (he says). He is the man of the house and has been since he’s been born. His dad is non-existent, and he takes care of his little sister a lot. He has a lot of responsibility and it is crazy the stuff he has been through. He seems like one of the better kids of the group. I didn’t really even have to help him with his homework; I just checked over it. The rest of the hour and half I spent getting to know him. I’ll be going back almost every Saturday and I’m super pumped about the chance to love on these kids.

I think I’ll give you a sneak peek into ‘duh Thailand A team.’ My team consists of:

12 people, 2 leaders, 3 boys and 9 girls, 3 people from different countries and 9 Americans, all with 1 mission, baby!!!

Meet duh A team:

Tony- is our dude on staff who is leading the team, he is 29 years old, super awesome because he knows how to have fun, plays the guitar and sings, can speak Russian, and is originally from Colorado

Synnove- is my beautiful small group leader who is the chick leading our team, she is super hilarious and random, an amazing singer, and she is from Norway!

Carrie – my crazy cousin from West Virginia

Emma – one of my new buddies from England

Megan – a unique, loving, new buddy from New Jersey

Jenifer – my fellow teacher from Long Island, New York babyyy.

Maxine – the laid back Canadian who can scream if she wants to

Laura – my little friend who loves elephants, she’s from Pennsylvania

Jacqui – one hilarious chick who says, “Why’s that weird?” like 100 times a day, she’s from New Jersey

Will – one chill guy who has an awesome style, a twin brother, and is from Nashville

Saul – another chill guy who tries to beat me at Egyptian Rat Screw but can’t, he’s from California

And ME!!!!

So pumped to see what God is going to do with this awesome team in Thailand. We couldn’t have orchestrated a team better than this. Please be praying for our team unity, and the people and land of Thailand!!!

this is Synnove (team leader) from Norway

Emma from England!

Megan, from New Jersey, and Carrie, from West Virginia

Jenifer from Long Island.

Will, from Nashville, and Saul, from California

Duh A Team is where it's at.

Okay, I am lacking in the blogging department. Last week was absolutely crazy, and this week I continued in the lacking department, but no more shall I continue this way.

There are so many things I could blog about for endless hours each. So in this blog I’m going to do a quick synopsis of the big events in this last week and a half.

Last Tuesday, October 5^th, we had our base gathering. It was huge for this base. There have been some crazy God things going on all around the world, but they all come back to LA. God is doing something huge in LA. We’re not exactly sure what he is doing exactly, we just trust that it’s huge and in his hands. God has been moving here, it’s just that he’s relaying information piece by piece now and involving his children. I’ve been praying about what God may have for me after this season. Maybe going back home to seminary, staying here and going to CSBS or SOMD. During this gathering I sensed God asking me to let go of seminary for now. I’m not sure exactly why or what I’m doing; I just know that God has me here in LA and I’m going to be part of his big plan, whatever that may be.

Wednesday October 6^th, we received our outreach locations. Wednesday mornings we have small group and our small group leader, Synnova (who is from Norway), had us go off for 5 minutes so that we could talk with God. She told us to go ask God where he wanted us to go on outreach (without us even knowing the outreach locations). During this time I kept on getting China and Thailand. Later that night we find out that the outreach locations are to Mexico, South Africa, Haiti/Dominican Republic, and Thailand. =D Sooo, after we found out the outreach locations they gave us 45 minutes to pray and what not until we had to turn in our desired location. They had us write down our number 1, 2, and 3 place. For the first half hour of prayer I struggled. I wanted my outreach location to be where God wanted me to be, not where I wanted me to be. During my prayer I kept on setting Thailand aside saying God not my desires, but yours. After not really hearing anything one of my favorite verses popped into my head; “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Then I sensed God saying, “Sarah what’s the difference between your desires and my desires?” At that point I was like okay God, Thailand it is. When I wrote down Thailand as my number one choice I had this awesome peace about it. After we all turned in our choices the DTS school leader took them all and prayed over them all. He was hoping and praying that God would make it so that everyone’s first choice would be split evenly into team four teams. Long story short, funny thing is God changed some plans. He made a South Africa team, a Haiti/DR team, and two Thailand teams. This is one reason I love YWAM. They’re all about championing young people, and not only do they just believe in this principle they live it out. I am on the Thailand A team. God is doing some awesome stuff. I’ll have to write more about my team another time. Time for bed; I am exhausted.

gently He comes

It’s been a crazy, wonderful week since I have blogged last Tuesday. Randy Thomas finished up the lecture last week on the nature and character of God with the four things that are required to have a personal relationship with God, hindrances to hearing the voice of the Lord, and then hearing the voice of the Lord. I have never had someone pull something so obvious together for me. The four things that are required for a personal relationship with God are 1) God, 2) you (me), 3) me talking to God, and the thing that everyone (including me) seems to forget to do 4) God communicating to me. It was truly that simple, but not simple enough to get what I was doing wrong on my own. There have been times where I have had God direct my paths, but many times he had to knock me on my butt for me to realize what he was doing. It always seemed that the people who were surrounding me had it much easier. For some reason they could hear God speak clearly, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t until this lecture that I realized that I had been shutting God up. I wasn’t giving him time to speak to me in my quiet times. I would communicate what was bothering me, what was on my heart, what I desired, and why I was sorry. Somehow it never fully occurred to me that God wanted to speak to me about what was bothering him, what was on his heart, and what he desired. It couldn’t be more evident that I am human, and with being human comes selfish motives and self-absorbed thoughts. As soon as I was done talking to God I would shut down my time with him thinking my time was finished. These quiet times were only half way, if that, finished. I should probably be letting him to most of the talking anyway. After Randy went through hindrances to hearing the voice of the Lord (unbelief, underdeveloped spirit, unforgiveness, calloused conscience, pride, idols, immorality from the past, occult, disobedience, fear of man, busyness, though lives and attitudes, drugs/alcohol, pornography) and hearing the voice of the Lord he sent us out to have some one on one time with Him.

During the one on one time with God it felt like I was literally in a battle with myself. I was hearing what he was saying, but I wasn’t really listening. It took me about 20 minutes until I finally and stubbornly surrendered to what he had for me. It’s so hard for me to explain how this went about, but it was like we were having a conversation in my thought process. I was holding on to my hardened heart toward a particular area in my life. He was fighting for it, and I wasn’t giving it to him. Finally I heard and listened to him when he said, “Sarah!!! You have been given a compassionate and soft heart. I have made you this way. Why do you put on such a hard exterior? I did not create you to be hardened. I made you with no flaw, for you are wonderfully made.” Right after this I sensed God asking me to ask him how to be gentle, what this looked like, and to transform me to be gentle. For the last few days I have been spending time in the word and with God basically meditating on what it means to be gentle. And again, this morning in my quiet time with Jesus I thanked him for being the perfect example of what gentleness looks like and asked him to guide my steps and to show me what gentleness looks like in my everyday life.

Anyone close to me can tell you that I try to act so hardcore, but the reality is that I am extremely passionate and sensitive and desire to be a gentle spirit. I know that God made me the way I am. I know that God gave me the desire for justice and good. I am not saying that I want this gentle spirit that sits back and does nothing. I desire the gentle spirit that knows exactly how to speak truth just like Jesus did. So, today in my quiet time (which was from 730 am -830) I was praying and asking God to give me the strength to be gentle because I am incapable of being gentle without His Spirit. I asked him to overwhelm me with his gentleness.

After my quiet time we had base worship at 830 and less than an hour later God was faithful in answering my prayer. For some reason Psalm 22:9 popped in my head during worship. I had no clue what Psalm 22:9 even said so of course I instantly pulled my Bible out to see what God wanted me to hear. Psalm 22:9 says, “Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts” (ESV). As soon as I read this I could just see this gigantic, gentle heavenly Father holding me. I then began to think about how great of a testimony I have. God has kept his hand of protection around me my entire life. He has been so diligent in walking with me every step of the way making sure that I didn’t get hurt. He has cried tears of pain when I have been in pain.  He has gently been guiding me, even mistake after mistake. Every single time I run from him he gently calls me back to him. He has never forced me to be in a relationship with him; he has gently loved me and in return how can I not love him? He has been calling me his princess right after I was formed in my mother’s belly, after the first breath I took, and yet still to this day, at the age of 23, he calls me his princess. How can God be gentler than that? The same God who created the rock hard mountains created the beautiful gentle clouds. That same God gently loves me and is more than capable of teaching me how to be gentle. During worship we sang How He Loves Us and the entire time I just had this picture of me standing on my heavenly Father’s feet as we slow danced. I was taken away by his gentle guidance of every step and sway we took. 

Thank you God for this time. Continue showing me.